Have you ever felt that you want to break out? You want to just go somewhere that you have no idea what to expect? I am beginning to see this situation coming up on the horizon for myself. I will be leaving everything I have ever known, everything that I have here in the US, to travel to Peru.
I honestly am not prepared. I continue to tell myself, “Sean, you have more than a month before you go…don’t worry about it.” However, with every second that passes by, the reality of being somewhere completely different in every way imaginable is unwavering. Whether I want to believe it or not, whether I want to accept the truth that I am leaving to a foreign country or not, it isn’t going to disappear.
On May 26th, I will be taking the inescapable leap to a world that values rest and community over constant achievement and individualism. I will be exposed to people that want to pickpocket me with every chance they get. I will be exposed to an altitude that not many places in the Midwest can even imagine being. I will experience a culture and people that descended from the Incas, a Indian population that gained its roots in 1200 A.D. Not only will I be involved in their culture, but I will be living and studying in the city (Cusco, Peru) in which the Inca began their historic existence and conquest. Needless to say, I will be encountering a new way of life.
Will I miss home? YES. Will I miss breathing air that is not paper thin? YES. Will I try to make the best from this experience? Yes. Ever since I have come to college, my goal of pursuing positions and experiences outside of my comfort zone have been mildly successful. I think I have gained some knowledge and skills that I would not have if I did not do or attempt the things I have so far. However, nothing compares to this. Nothing can even measure up to this one. I will be stretching myself and my ability to adapt to the breaking point. I fell as if I am pretty flexible, but I will not truly know until I am there. Until I meet my family and classmates, I will not know what it means to put myself out there and hope that people accept me. I like to be in control of my relationships, but this will be the biggest 180 degrees that I will ever have. I hope it works out.
As the date quickly approaches, all I can do is finish out this semester of school the best that I can. I have to remember that I still have classes and expectations as I look forward to the summer. I need to realize that papers need to be typed and tests need to be studied for, or else I will be throwing away everything I worked to build this entire semester and since my freshman year. All I can do is focus on the here and now as I keep the near future in my periphery.
As Mat Kearney says:
“No parachutes or safety nets here
One foot in the water to face these fears
Coming out strong like I can’t be wrong”
All I can do is put my foot out there to face my fears when the time comes, and hope that I can come out strong enough. I hope I can do that.
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